“But why is my site undergoing so many spam and DDOS attacks?”
That was the question I asked my web host technician. He said, EVERY website that gets traffic undergoes constant malicious attacks from spambot developers in order to steal data, send out mass junk mail, plant viruses and malware, overload your server, and increase their own SEO ranking.
We finally figured out a mysterious combination of security protocols, firewalls, and plugins to keep my site secure. But my site would never recover from the most recent attack.
After months turned into years of dealing with endless tech issues, working with brilliant developers and technicians, the final days were spent with us staying up late into the night trying every solution possible. It finally became clear I would need to erase my entire website. I couldn’t save even one file because it could be infected.
An Intense Moment
It was an intense moment as I waited for my web host to press the delete button. Within the silence of that pause, I checked in with my body and emotions. I had remained calm but I felt tension in my shoulders. There were feelings of helplessness, defeat, and despair. The spambots had won. I felt that I wasn’t strong enough to survive in this cruel world.
I didn’t know how I was going to recover. But there was something very liberating about accepting defeat. Defeat was the reality of the situation, and there was nothing else I could do. As I accepted reality, I felt the tension drain out from my body. I was now flowing with reality rather than trying to work against it, and that felt strangely good.
I sat there alone with an empty blank page on my website. All the tech problems were gone, but so was all of my data. Then I found myself smiling. It was just like the Buddhist vow of ’emptiness’ – that inner space of pure blissful silence from which the whole universe is born. There are no words to describe the inner nirvana that is not dependent on any life circumstance. It’s always there no matter what’s happening in our life.
We often become aware of our inner bliss in the space of pure emptiness.
My only regret is that it took me so long to let it all go.
I redesigned a whole new website in just a few hours and began to repopulate content. I was back in the game. And I felt more passionate than ever. I believed in what I was doing and there were no doubts at all about my life calling. Artificial intelligence could be used to destroy my website and even years of hard work, but it could never touch my soul. There’s nothing at all that can affect the infinite spirit that is within us all.